Isang bukas na liham sa minamahal kong si Anthony

Hello solitudeans!!!!

It has been a long time po na hindi na ako nakapost sa blog ko at thankfully buhay panaman hahaha... Anyways, I just wrote this letter in 2015 noong time na hinahanap-hanap ko si Anthony, first love ko. Matagal-tagal nadin naman simula noong nawala siya pero somehow ngayon nakakarecover na ako. Sige po at hindi ko na patatagalin pa ang sulat nato. Based po ito sa aming pag-iibigan mula pagkikita hanggang sa pumanaw siya. Salamat sa patuloy na pagbasa ng blog ko.

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Baby ko,

Kamusta ka na? Alam ko nasa mabuting kalagayan ka na ngayon. Masaya ako at kapiling mo na Siya ng buong-buo.

Natatandaan mo pa ba noong una tayong nagkita sa simbahan? Nagtitirik ako ng kandila and nagdasal na sana may isang tao na magmamahal sakin ng tapat at totoo. At ikaw naman ‘tong sobrang kulit na nagbubulong sa akin na “Wish Granted”. Napatulala ako sa maamo mong mukha. Bagamat mahirap maniwala at nagpursige ka na ligawan ako.

Natatandaan mo pa ba nung bisperas ng Pasko, magkasama tayong magsimba at kasama mo ang pamilya mo samantalang ako lang mag-isa dahil hindi nagsisimba palagi. Alam mo, naghanap ako ng sign kasi gustong-gusto kitang sagutin kasi napakathoughtful at maalagain mo sa akin. Ginabayan nga ako ni Lord sa pagkakataong ito at sinagot kita pagkatapos ng Misa. Ikaw na yata ang pinakamasayang taong nakita ko noong Paskong iyon at hindi ako nag-atubili na mahalin ka.

Natatandaan mo pa ba noong panahon na narinig mo ang mga classmates ko sa university na binubully ako at nakipag-awayan ka talaga para depensahan ang pagkatao ko. Naging overprotective ka sa akin sa lahat ng bagay at iyon ang dahilan kung bakit mas minahal pa kita ng lubusan.

Natatandaan mo pa ba noong una tayong nag-away na hindi kita mapatawad kasi napakasakit iyon sa akin. Umuulan pa noon at pilit mong pumasok ng bahay pero hindi kita talaga pinapasok hanggang sa punto na pinagalitan ako ng nanay ako bakit hindi ka pinapasok at naawa ako sa iyo. Hindi ko ba maintindihan noong kung talagang totoo yung mga sinasabi mo pero ang nakakatuwa dun ay noong nalaman ko na nagkasakit ka ng panahong iyon dahil sa kaartehan mo. Doon ko narealize, mahal mo talaga ako.

Natatandaan mo pa ba na sinabihan kitang huwag muna tayong magkita dahil sobrang busy ko sa pag-aaral at nagpupumilit ka talagang pumunta ng bahay. Iyon ang dahilan kung bakit tayo nag-away kasi hindi ko maibalanse at pag-aaral at ikaw. Nagkalabuan tayo pagkatapos ng pangyayaring iyon at hindi ka na nga napunta lage sa amin o hindi man lang tayong nagkita.

Natatandaan mo pa ba noong panahong tumawag ang Kuya mo sa akin para papuntahin ako ng ospital at bigla akong nagtaka kung bakit sa ospital. Pumunta nga ako at bumuluga sakin ang sarili mo nakaratay sa higaan. Itinago mo sa akin na may sakit ka pala na leukemia at may taning na ang buhay mo. Gusto kong umiyak pero hindi ko ginawa kasi alam ko mas lalo kang malulungkot. Araw-araw ako pumunta ng ospital para alagaan kita kahit gaano ako kapagod sa school ko dahil gusto ko lagi na andyan ako sa tabi ko. Halos matanggal na ako sa Dean’s List at scholarship ko noong panahon iyon pero ayos lang sa akin ang importante andyan ako lage sa tabi mo.

Natatandaan mo pa ba yung mga panahon na halos wala na talagang pag-asa ang lahat. Binulungan mo ako na kantahan mo ako ng theme song nating “Angels brought me here” at pagkatapos noon, ang huling salita na sinabi mo sa akin ay “mahal na mahal kita”. Iniwan mo na nga ako ng tuluyan. Masakit. Pero kinakaya ko.

At heto ako ngayon, sa tuwing sobrang pagod, naaalala ko ang mga napakagandang pangyayari sa buhay ko. Yun ay ikaw. Halos magwawalong taon nadin, pero ang lungkot na naiwan mo ay damang-dama ko pa din. Miss na miss na kita baby ko. Mahal na mahal kita. Sobra.

Nagmamahal,

Extreme Solitude

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MASSKARA FESTIVAL 2013

Official Logo and Theme for Masskara Festival 2013

The month of October will be set into fire as Bacolod City will celebrate the world-renowned Masskara Festival. Marked on its 34th year, the City will also be celebrating the 75th charter anniversary which added a lot more excitement to the local and foreign tourist. Spearheaded by Mr. Rhoderick Samonte as the new Festival Director, he is promising more thrilling surprises the city will be experiencing. This is under the supervision of Kasadya Bacolod Foundation, Inc.

The theme for this year is "Rediscover and Celebrate Bacolod". Below are the draft for the schedule of events which will took place this year:

October 12 

9PM MassKara Queen – USLS Coliseum (sponsored by ABS-CBN Bacolod)

October 17 INTERNATIONAL PEOPLE’S DAY 

10AM onwards - International Food Festival – Plaza

7PM - Kapuso Fiesta with GMA stars – North Capitol Road

October 18 SANGGUNIANG PANGLUNGSOD DAY 

2PM - MassKara Festival streetdancing Competiton Schools Category (Paglaum Sports Complex)

4PM - Kapuso Mall Show (SM North Transport Hub)

5PM - Handog Pasalamat ng Bombo Radyo at Star FM (Bacolod City Public Plaza)

8:30PM - Kapuso Electric DanssKara Finals with GMA Stars (Bacolod City New Government Center)

11:30PM - Masskara Lights Show (Bacolod City New Government Center)

11:55PM - Countdown to Bacolod’s 75th Charter Anniversary

12MN - MassKara TomorrowLand Party

October 19 

2PM - Charter Day Parade (Bacolod City New Government Center to SM)

6PM - Charter Anniversary Program (Coliseum)

7PM - MassKara TomorrowLand (Tourism Strip) LCC ARFIEN

Giant Puppets Parade (Tourism Strip)

October 20 

12Noon - ASAP 18 (to be confirmed)

2Pm - MassKara Streetdancing Competition Barangay Category (Paglaum Sports Complex)

COINCIDENCE

Malamang medyo corny ang sinulat kong ito way back when I was 1st year college pero I just want to share it to the world kasi pinasa ko ito sa school org ko with an unknown identity pero pinublish nga but not on my credit. Hai pero sana magustuhan niyo dear solitudeans. I miss you all, XD

"In every tears that you get, you were always there with me. In the midst of the rain, sympathizing for you friend. In every journey that you take, I will never leave you. You’re not alone anymore, my friend,” Ace chanted. He was with his friend, his best bud Kate. They were sitting under a shade of the tree, waiting for the class one afternoon. “Did you like my song?” he asked. Kate had no reply but she started to grin, a grin that would always deteriorate Ace’s day. “Why are you grinning?” Ace face started to look miserable, as if someone had thrown him a stone but refused to look back. “Nothing, I was just thinking about weird things,” she insisted. “Ah, you’re making stories again Kate, do you?” Ace interfered her. Instead of replying, she ran out to the corridors and started to laugh. Ace and Kate were just ordinary friends studying in a university. They were not known to each other at first, but with some coincidence, a blooming friendship then arises. It just so happened that they were of the same course and a same class schedule. Weird isn’t it? Or were they just meant for each other? “Hey Ace!” Kate greeted him with a smile. Ace was just sitting on a bench, reviewing his lessons. She went beside Ace and sat. Ace stopped for a while and looked at Kate. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be with your group right now,” he replied. “Yes, I was with them but I have something to tell you. Nobody knows about this but only you and me,” Kate pleased him not to tell anybody. His thumb rises up signaling for okay. He then asked himself. “What could that be?” and started to smirk. Ever since they started to be friends, Ace has his hidden desires kept inside his heart. He was predicting that Kate would tell him that she also allured him. But life’s so unfair. “You know what? Dave is now my boyfriend! I felt so happy that he asked me to have a formal love relationship,” Kate giggled. After hearing the message, Ace felt numbness from his body. Something strange was happening. It was like he was electrocuted by a lightning. He really can’t believe what Kate had said. “Hey, what happened to you? Don’t you feel happy for your best friend, huh?” She was shaking Ace. He was transfixed at the moment and instead of having a reply, he started to fix his things, puts them in his bag, and left out of the corridors. That day served as one of the most unforgettable moments Ace had encountered throughout his stay in the campus. It was like a turning point for him; was he going to move on or not? From then on, Ace started to part ways with Kate. Every time they meet coincidentally, he either passes towards Kate unknowingly or simply goes back to where he was with. Days, weeks, and even months have passed but still, nothing happened. One time, while she was walking through the aisles of the corridors, she saw Ace looking awful. The two of them were left in the corridors. The nature’s senses awakened when she started confronting Ace. “Ace what’s wrong with you?” she blurted out. He stopped for the moment and glanced back to Kate. “Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to be alone. How’s your relationship with Dave? I’m pretty sure you’re happy with him,” he was weak with his words. Kate feels uncomfortable with the words he had said to her. “Ace,” she shed tears from her eyes. Ace was somehow helpless but he walks away, leaving Kate unattended. The afternoon seemed to be gloomy when clouds started to accumulate the atmosphere. Kate was waiting for his boyfriend in a bench with trees lying beside it. She was texting with Dave for they will be having a date. She was somehow bored and tired waiting for his loved one. Kate: Wer r u? Ur supposd 2 b hir ryt now. Dave: Am comin’. Jst w8 4 me der. Just as Kate texted Dave, she saw two people, a boy and a girl, walking towards her. The guy seemed familiar to her sight. His posture, his body and even his gesture. Everything about him. The guy looks back to her, and yes! It was him! Dave was with another girl! “Dave!” she was distress when she saw his boyfriend with another girl. “Do you know her Dave?” the girl asked. Dave was looking over at Kate and said, “No, I don’t know her. Maybe he was just strangling around the corners of this area. Let’s go now. We’ll be late for the movie.” They left Kate unidentified. She felt sorry for herself. If she only knew about his boyfriend. Raindrops fell from the darkness. Unintentionally, Ace had seen the incident. He went towards Kate and started to speak. “Maybe you need my cap. It’s raining.” Kate gazes back and saw Ace. He puts his cap on Kate’s head. She was tearing out when Ace approached her. “Have you seen us?” she asked. “Yes, I saw the whole incident. It’s just okay. Good thing you already knew about them before someone would tell you about their relationship, right? Ace said encouragingly, telling her not to worry about what had happened. The incident seemed to be favorable with Ace because it was a time for him to reconciliate with his best bud Kate. As what a quote says, “Love is lovelier the second time around.” And it really did. They were now totally bonded to each other. Time flies by and it so happened that they already wanted to be more than friends but they were hesitant to tell their feelings with them. But then, something dreadful had happened. Days went by and Kate was wondering why Ace hadn’t been schooling since the day they were connected to each other. She hurriedly went to Ace’s house. Upon arriving, she was shocked with what she saw. There were canopies present inside their house. A lot of people were coming in and out and several flower arrangements appeared their door. As she entered, she saw his parents sympathizing in the corners of the house. Chandeliers and brilliant lights were present inside. In the center, she saw a well-known portrait situated at the top of an illuminating coffin. She had ten steps to see the person inside it. She glances back and saw Ace. She was terrified about what she had seen. “Ace! Why did you leave? I thought you were just okay. Why didn’t you tell me about this?” and started weeping his eyes. Kate felt she was deteriorating. She can’t move but tried to see the cold body of his best friend. Just as he was about to burst, Ace’s mom went through and handed a letter for her. “Ace wrote this letter for you. He didn’t inform you about this because he’s afraid that you might get worried about his condition,” Ace’s mom said. She read the letter. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kate, Sorry if I did not tell you about this because you might get worried about my condition. I got sick after we’ve parted ways when you had a relationship with Dave. It really struck my body that I almost felt weak. The doctor diagnosed that I had a congenital heart disease since I was a little child. I already had been in attack twice and I only have a chance left. Anytime from now, I might be leaving to where I am right now. I know it’s hard for you to understand for it was an incident but I’m already prepared to leave. Thanks for the support you had been with me and thick and thin, and even if I’m not here around, you’ll always be in my heart. I’ve never told you about this but I really love you. I’m just afraid to tell you personally. I hope you love me too. Remember the song I composed to you? Well, here it is: In every tears that you get, You were always there with me. In the midst of the rain, Sympathizing for your friend. In every journey that you take, I will never leave you. You’re not alone anymore, my friend. Please keep this song as a sign of our friendship. I love you so much Kate. Do you love me too? Ace ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Yes, I do really love you.” Tears fell in her eyes. Salamat sa pagbabasa ng blog ko po. Post your comments po sa ilalim pag meron XD

HULING SULYAP

Maaga pa akong nagising. Naligo. Nagbihis. Kumain. Nagpaalam at umalis ng bahay. Dumaan ako ng flowershop. Bumili ng isang dosenang puting rosas. At naglakad papuntang sementeryo. Binisita ko siya. Inilatag ang rosas. Nagsindi ng kandila sa puntod niya. Nagpanalangin. “Malapit na po ako.” Sabay talikod, hudyat ng pamamaalam. Sumakay ako ng jeep. May nakasabay na magnobya. Naglalambingan. Isip ko. “Sweet naman nila.” Sabay ngiti. Di ko namalayan, magtatanghali na pala. Pumunta ako sa carinderia. Kumain ng mag-isa. Nang biglang may tumapik sa likod ko. “Pwedeng makasabay?” “Oo, naman.” Sabay ngiti. Medyo pamilyar sa akin ang mukha niya. Di ko nga lang maalala kung saan siya nakita. Nagtanong sakin ulit. “Pwede ba kitang masamahan sa lakad mo?” Nagtaka ako. Napangiti. “Sige ba.” Sakto, maaliwalas ang panahon. Sabay kaming naglakad sa tabing dagat. Tanging nakakabinging agos ng karagatan ang maririnig ko. Tahimik. Nakakarelax. Umupo kami sa dalampasigan. “Masaya ka ba sa buhay mo?” Tanong niya sa akin. Bigla akong nagtaka kung bakit naitanong niya yung bagay na iyon. Napaisip. At tumingin sa mga mata niya. “Napasaya ko sila. Yun lang ang mahalaga sa akin.” Pero yumuko ako. Sabay tingin sa malayo. “Bakit sila? Hindi ikaw?” “Ganun talaga eh.” Yinakap niya ako ng mahigpit. “Sana mahanap mo ang totoong kasiyahan.” Napangiti ako ulit sa kanya. “Tara, May isa pa akong pupuntahan.” Naglakad kami ng malayo. Subalit bigla akong nanghina. Nahihingal. Pero tinuloy kopadin ang paglakad. Hanggang sa mapadpad ako sa simbahan. Ngunit, bigla siyang nawala. Nagtaka ako. Hinayaan konalang siya. Sa halip, pumasok ako at naupo sa gilid. Nagdasal at nagpasalamat sa lahat ng biyayang natanggap. “Ikaw napo ang bahala sa akin.” Tumingin ako sa altar. Nakita ko siya ulit. Napangiti. Tumayo kaagad ako. Ngunit para bang nanghihina katawan ko. Pumipintig ng mabilis ang aking puso. Habang papalapit, nandilim ang paningin ko. Pero tuloy padin ako sa paglalakad. Hanggang sa malapit na ako sa kanya. Huling sulyap ko, papalapit na ako sa kanya. Sabay hawak sa mga kamay niya. Hanggang sa nawalan ako ng malay. Tanda ko na lamang, may mga naririnig akong hagulhol sa tabi ko.

Is he THE ONE?

Ika nga nila, "Life is full of surprises". At talagang totoo naman ang bagay na iyon. To the point na you are dealing with a lot of people whom you cannot expect what would happen to the both of you. Siguro ito nga ang nangyari sakin. I have been in a relationship these past few months that I thought napakaayos na. Ayun pala, as always, bigo parin in the end. Naglolokohan lang pala kami. Nevertheless, I made myself stupid na magpauto lang talaga sa kanya. Halos lahat ng effort na pwede kong mabigay, hangga't sa makakaya ko ibibigay just to return a simple favor, na mamahalin ako ng tapat at totoo. Pero, wala din pala sa kanya kasi mas matimbang ang pagiging praktikal kesa sa pagiging emotionally attached. Hindi naman talaga natin masisi ang sarili kung ikaw sa isang point na magmamahal ka talaga ng sobra-sobra yet wala lang din pala. Through that experience, marami akong natutunang bagay. Mga bagay na kung saan dapat minsan,'wag kang mapaglinlang sa mga taong di worth ng pagmamahal mo. Luckily, masasabi ko ngayon na nakahanap ng isang tao na worth ng pagmamahal ko. Siguro at first, naging suplado siya sa akin sapagkat coincidence lang naman ang mga pangyayari dahil hindi ko talaga naexpect that things would turn out right. Sana siya na nga talaga. Alam ko may mga pinagdadaanan siyang mga struggles sa buhay pero I'm always here to support para maging masaya siya at ganun din naman ako. For now, ayoko mag-expect ng sobra-sobra sa kanya dahil traumatic ang mga previous relationships ko. Mukhang lagi nalang mali ang pinatutunguhan ng relasyon ko. Kung kaya naman, pilit kong dinadahan-dahan ang lahat ng bagay para naman happy ang ending di po ba mga solitudeans? Sa pinakamamahal kong baby ko ngayon, Una sa lahat nagpapasalamat ako for accepting me for who I am; alam ko naman di akong perpektong tao kasi lahat naman tayo nagkakamali pero we always learn to all mistakes that we had experienced in life. Marami kanarin pong naikwento sa aking tungkol sa buhay mo at salamat naman kasi naging open ka sa lahat ng bagay. Siguro I might be jealous with those previous relationships you had because natural naman po iyon pero salamat talaga kasi you opened up all those things that enlightened me. I really loved your honesty and I appreciate it that much. Pangalawa, pagpasenxahan muna po ako ngaun kasi ang natatanging problema lang natin is how to cope up with a limited time because may trabaho din naman po ako na inaasikasu. Asahan niyo po na magiging loyal at honest po ako sa lahat ng bagay. We may be far to each other now, pero ang puso ko po ibibigay ko sa iyo ng buong-buo kasi you're really worth it. At sa huli, I'll make sure po na ieenjoy natin yung relationship natin for as long as we live. Di po ako nag-eexpect ng kung anu man sa atin ngayon, pero pupunuin ko lahat ng pagkukulang ko sa iyo. Salamat baby ko for understanding and loving me so much. Sobrang saya ko po ngaun... XD Ikaw kasi si McDo... LOVE ko 'to.. hihi at ako kasi si JOLLIBEE mo XD salamat sa pagsubaybay sory po di na ako nakapagpost ngayon napakabusy lang sa trabaho.. hanggang sa muli dear solitudeans... I know for sure, HE is THE ONE. pero secret na muna ngaun hehehe XD

Looking for True Passion

It might be too late for me to update my blog since I've been so busy with the chosen profession I've took. It's kinda weird for me to feel this unusual approach that triggered myself to stop this. Lately naman kasi, hindi ko na maiintindihan sarili ko. Napakarami ko nang naiisip na mga bagay2x. Probably because andaming interference which is unavailable for my case. I'm being unemotionally unstable as of this moment. What to choose? Passion for work? for love? for family? for money? Andaming factors na iisipin at tatalikuran para lang maging masaya sa buhay. It's definitely a nightmare for me, pero I really need to choose what's best for me. Naguguluhan po ako sobra. Sa mga solitudeans jan, patulong naman po ako. I don't know what to do. I simply needed advices that would make my life meaningful. Masyado nang hindi tama ang ginagawa, iniisip at pinagkakaabalahan ko sa buhay. And I do need ample space to decide what path to choose. Sana makayanan konaman ulit ang pagsubok na ito. Sa muli dear solitudeans.

BANTAYAN!

Bantayan is a vernacular term for "ABANGAN" in Tagalog. Since malapit na ang Masskara Festival, I made a mask intended for a competition. Above is a glimpse of the said photo for this year's competition. I hope mananalo ito hehehe.